I started having sex when I was 17 with a guy I'd known for five years. At 17 years old, that's a long time, since from 0-5 years old you don't remember much. I'll tell you who he is later. I want to out all the men that I've been involved with so that if you know them they can tell you all about me. I am far from neurotic and even farther away from desperate. I've listed all these men for Steve all ready, and he knows facts that I will not privilege you to. I'm going to do this out of a need to not seem crazy, even though this might be crazy, it's the truth. Like I said before, the truth stops here, but a lie would carries on. I don't and won't pull any punches in an effort to clear my good name and rid myself of the stigma of being a woman who needs to stalk a man. One of my old love interest just hit me up on Facebook and told me that I was doing good. I won't mention him, because all we did was sit and talk for hours at a time. He in his room and me in the bathroom. I had two sisters and a nosy little brother. That was the only place I could find peace! Hey, Miguel! ; )
I'm going to start with the last, which was in 1996. I told you that I've been celibate the last 14 years. Nine of which I've carried a torch for Steve. The men I had are as followed:
Pete Golden: (September 1996 - November 1996) Pete was 62 years old and I was 26. He was a deacon at the church I attended Liberty Missionary Baptist Church, where he and his wife attended since its inception. His wife had just passed away, and I was shocked at how quickly he wanted to begin a romance after her death. He had another girlfriend that he acquired when his wife had become to ill to "perform". Before then he would have affairs here and there, but not like this woman. He took her on trips, family reunions and spent nights with her claiming over-time. This woman was the cause of our demise. When he had taken a break from me. A break, because we still talked everyday, but an old man isn't like a young one. He worked six days in the plant. She wanted his money, and I can assume when she thought he had another woman she clamped down on the loving and the wallet. We do that you know. I discovered he was still seeing her. I got drunk, went to his house, cussed him out and ended it. He talked too much, anyway. He was telling all the old men in church about our sex life. SMH
Jeff Kage: (March 1995 - May 1996) Jeff was my first White boy, and so sexy. He was the first White man I've kissed, hugged or had sex with. He had "Baby Momma Drama", though. During our relationship, I discovered he had a daughter, whom he claimed, a son who at first he didn't and another child that "just happened". His ex was serious about having him, and took every opportunity to give him a child that she could. He was a hard working young man who was very responsible. He took care of his children and their mother, even if he did tell me that he didn't want anything to do with her. As I counted back the last two kids birthdays the coincide with a holiday or his daughter's birthday. I'm just saying... Jeff said that he wanted to hold on to me, because I was independent and didn't need him for anything and just wanted him. Needless to say that he was pulled a 100 different ways and was absent far too much. One day when I got tired of being "on hold" with him, I let me neighbors son answer my phone. Jeff came over that night, tried to choke me to death, and it was over!
Jonathan "Jukie" Chambers: (Summer 1991) Now, Jon is the hardest, because although I only spent three months with him, the effects of this relationship is the one that haunts me. First, his brother and sister began calling me a stalker when I discovered that it was his sister Pam helping my brother's "boss" deal his drugs. Then I found out I was pregnant with his child. A child I never had, but claimed I was pregnant with for a while. A doctor's secretary called to tell me that I had to come get my "Proof of Pregnancy". The doctor had told me that I wasn't pregnant, but he would still do blood work in case I'm not far enough along to tell. After a baby never came to be, I went on a terrible down-turn that included a "hysterical pregnancy" of epic proportion. This people said was my first delusional episode, but not to me. When you are told something by a doctor, and gain 50 pounds, you want it to be true out of a need for all the stuff you went through to be for something.
When he married his wife she and her best friend tried to assassinate me with the people of Pontiac. They are both a diabolical and miserable pair. Since, his wife has him and after all we have been through, he still wants me back. That's a testament of what she has, and her best friend married this man who abused her and left her in obscurity. I remember going into Target and her telling her son to scream, "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy". I think the joke is actually on both of them, because they've found out the hard way what life is with a man. It ain't all wine and roses, and just cause you got oe don't mean you'll keep him. Don't mean he'll be all yours either.
With all of this Jukie never came to see about me. It was his child that I wasn't carrying. But his wife would show up at my job at Sears and try to flaunt their new son in front of me. I just use to shake my head, because she obviously knows that her husband has some serious feelings here. If she didn't why would she even think about me. I could have told her that, because in all of her "husbands" quietness, he followed me around the summer of 1991. You can ask my old ex-best friend about that. I never had to guess where he was until his brother discovered I knew, and that I wasn't a crack head. Then he was subjected to "Big Brother Peer Pressure" and began having affairs. It took some of the biggest whores in Pontiac to get rid of me. Wait, I saw him in church last month...He still ain't over me! (smile)
Andrew "Drew" Brown: (various) Like all the men I will list I have known Drew Brown for years. He use to play ball at Jefferson when I was a young girl of 11 and 12. Oh, I don't have to tell you how I found him so very attractive and sexy. That's my Baby; forever! He's my teacher and such, and we all know what that means. I finally gave in to him after seven years of being terrified of him. Just the way he looks at you, you know that he has a few tricks for you. Mmmm... Okay, let's move on. Drew would never tolerate any form of disobedience or "hell raising" from me or any of his other women. The others he claims not to have. He came to see me this summer. He had his number written on a piece of paper just in case I wasn't home. Sadly, I'm not the 19 year old fool I use to be, and around her, there is no longer any "taxation without representation". He had told me that he has fooled around with my ex-best friend in the parking lot on his job, anyway. I haven't gotten over that. So he gets nothing, and he knows why. Growing up, sometimes means growing away. I'm just saying...
Jimmy Sherrell: (Summer 1990) Jimmy was my second summer fling that ended with the turning of the leaves. I had just got back from the Army, and Drew wasn't being attentive. His girlfriend that he had since high school had found one of my letters from Texas. He had went out of town to Chicago and she happened upon my letter and read it. I don't know, maybe I put in my letter that I would be home the first week of August. I'm not sure, but she sent me a nasty little letter ad he wouldn't return my calls when I got home. I had been with him, knowing about her all along. When I got to Fort Sam Huston he allowed me to call him and I thought we were fine. Then I met Jimmy, and started with hi, once Drew was MIA. There wasn't much to Jimmy, and if you know him you know that's true. I saw him at Food Basket earlier in the year and you know the drill...He took my number! He didn't call though, Steve is more than stingy, and he don't share.
Lemarr "Roy" Craft: I have to put him here, because he actually falls in between all of these men. He was my boyfriend for almost three years. It started in high school, and ended in around 1989 or 90. He was the best boyfriend I ever had, mainly because we didn't have sex. We would just ride around with his best friend at the time Nick and my best friend Ang (that's what he called her). In high school we never led on that we had spent Saturday night together drinking beers and getting stuck in the woods when his car wouldn't start. We just went around acting like we weren't important to each other. We didn't even go to prom together, he actually took my worst enemy. I don't know why I was involved with him like that. He was my friend, but he cared enough to call me his girlfriend and come when I called. He drinks too much and once fell asleep on his cousins floor sitting up watching TV. Best friend, best times, best of most things. One night Ang got a headache and I had to go with him alone. Of course, since he was my boyfriend....
He and the next guy...Well...
Oh, Roy is Val Gross' cousin. Ironically, when I was having lunch and dinner and getting roses from him, I was Roy's girlfriend. I just found out they were cousins this summer, so I am not a skank...LOL
Rayfus "Pee Wee" Jones Jr.: (Summer 1982 - Winter 1988) Now I could put various dates on Rayfus section, because all through Jr. High and High School we "talked". I met him at his grandfather's store o the corner of Luther and Motor. We would go up there and play games. This is Steve's biggest nemesis of all of the men I write about. Rayfus was that guy you had to get over by growing through it. I wasn't having sex in high school, and Rayfus was quite the "Ladies Man", and I later found out why. Yes, I was with Roy, and one time they set me up. Rayfus took me o a date and in the middle of it Roy called stranded. Yeah, Roy had a car as I had mentioned, but for some reason he needed a ride the night of our date. Rayfus and I were in his kitchen when he said, "Come on we gotta go get Roy." Needless to say, my heart dropped to my stomach.
Roy was drunk of course. He took the seat behind me and hit me in the head the entire ride home. Needless to say, I didn't know it was a set-up all these years. My brother just enlightened me to that fact a couple of months ago. I never asked either one, although I have talked to Rayfus recently, I don't think it's even relevant 23 years later. I carried a torch for him all through high school, while Steve carried a torch for me. That's why Steve doesn't want me two feet from Rayfus, and walks the halls of the PPD asking Rayfus, "You got a mistress yet?" Rayfus was recently married, but we all know Rayfus... He was also in that Investigative Paper class with Steve and me. Steve doesn't even know that I paid more attention to him and his daydreaming than I did Rayfus. Well, I guess he knows now...LOVE ME SOME HIM!
Rayfus and I did our thing all summer long, when we ran into one another. there's a lot to this story I could tell, but would rather not. Long and short of it. We both went to college, I met John, and when I got home for Christmas, I called him. We hung out, but it wasn't the same anymore. There is a thing I have that is weird, but sex is miserable without love. I found that out with Rayfus, who was technically my first real lover. After I had met John and fell in love with him, I couldn't get into sex with Rayfus. He didn't care, because he was having sex with his best friends girlfriend at that time, and anyone else he wanted...SMH
So that's them, and there isn't anymore in Pontiac. I have had two drunken incidents, one at Wilberforce and one here. I don't claim to be perfect, but don't don't except being called a Stalker. I think I'm pretty and have had contact and friendships with some of the most infamous players in Pontiac and have brought a couple to their knees. My being smart is a given and men wanting me a simple fact of nature. I don't need to stalk anyone. Just ask the wives and girlfriends of the men I've left behind. Most of them hate to see me coming. It ain't all about beauty, but the value you place on yourself and the worth you give your body. I have allowed myself to be used, but even in those situations the men respected me, because they knew that they were being loved and taking advantage of me.
One at a time, and not in close cessation, you need to know who your "Baby's Daddy" is. All this talk abut me wanting a bay and not being able to have one is nonsense, since I haven't been trying the last 14 years. It's safe to say that I never really tried, because the men I was "with" never lasted very long. I was never sorry enough or desperate enough to call a man over to trick him into having a child. I never had enough sex with most of them for that to be a risk factor. I can safely say, I'm good!
Oh, and ask Mommas, sisters, brothers, wives and girlfriends. Most of them don't even know me like that. I don't hound relatives to get a man. Our relationship is our relationship, and since they won't be in the bed with us, they are all non-factors; Seriously.
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